This is My Journey...

Friday, May 27, 2005

*Ramblings today...*

I am really busy right now but I couldn't help but write my thoughts. I came across a thread regarding why men cheat and one man kept on insisting that aren't we women unfair. Women cheat too. And I must admit he had a point there. To attest to that, his personal experience and one post of a lady admitting she cheated her man. Haha!!! I have so many things in my mind I want to put in here but I don't know how to arrange that into writings. If you want to ask me something about this feel free to ask I'll answer back as soon as I find time.

But first, what's the reason of this woman to cheat? She said, to spite him. To make him feel how painful it is to be cheated. Result? The man was traumatized... don't want to go again into a relationship, according to her. My reaction?... Go gurl!!! Yeah, give them their own doze of medicine.

Then.... I paused for a minute and think again... Can I do that? Cheat? hmmm... (Looks up in the ceiling...) Nah!!! What is that in Taglish? "Di kaya ng powers ko." I'm too kind to do that.

Well, I came to accept that "Men are polygamous by nature." Oh, Uh!!! But it doesn't mean I'll tolerate cheating. If I learned that my guy is cheating... hhhmm... as long as I don't see it w/ my own two chinita eyes.

But what if I accidentaly see them? You know? The ironies of life... Hmmm... I will probably give them a look, a deadly look, then walked away. Then, my guy has to talk to me or else, I will force him to.

That was my stand right now...

~ ~ ~

Our personnel collapsed while we were having our morning meeting. I'm concerned with her because she's been nice to me and make sure I'm always comfortable here in Thailand. They said maybe she's pregnant.

When I learned about that I felt happy for her and at the same time envied her. I don't know. I'm suddenly curious about how it is to have a life growing inside of me. Lol!!! I didn't feel that when I learned previously that my friend was pregnant too.

Haha!!! It's just today!!! I still love my situation right now.

In The Fairyland On|9:07:00 AM| 3 comments

Friday, May 20, 2005

*My Brother...*

I almost lost my only brother last May 7. He got what we called in Tagalog "bangungot." At first, they didn't told me. But eventually, they told me after a week. Imagine, after a week? I understand my fathers decision not to let me know coz he's thinking I maybe bothered but for me it's better to tell me.

I'm shocked coz I didn't expect that plus my brother is only 23. I told my parents and other siblings that they should monitor what he is eating and don't let him go out a lot.

The thought of losing one of my immediate family is what I'm scared of. I am not yet prepared. My friend said I should be but I really can't, for now. My own death, now at least I can say, somehow I am prepared but my family, not yet. That will surely make me lost. I am thankful to God He still gives us my brother. Now, i'm more appreciative of my life and all the graces that are coming my way.

In The Fairyland On|1:18:00 PM| 5 comments

Thursday, May 12, 2005

*Torn between a Friend and what is right?*

I recently got a chance to talk to one of my friend/officemate and i have learned from her that a co-employee and a superior who's married is having an affair. My first reaction was of course shocked. The girl is my friend too. Although, i don't know her that much it never occured in my sometimes demented mind that she'll get involve with him. Okay, she got a bad reputation but then I'm not there and I don't really know what happened. And somehow she have issues with herself that i think made her long for love and self-belonginess.

In the eyes of the society it's wrong but I don't know, I got to learn to give reason to everything. There might be something that had happened or they got closed to each other. I'm not saying that it's okay to get involve with a married man. No! It's still is the number no, no to me.

I got to remember someone says "Love as a feeling can never be wrong it's what is followed in the society that sometimes makes it wrong." An illicit love affair... If it's lust only for me it's really wrong but then if there's a feeling involve who's got to blame? The man or the woman?

In The Fairyland On|1:03:00 PM| 3 comments

Saturday, May 07, 2005

*My sister tried to make me cry...*

I called my family last night, actually, called my sis. I wasn't able to talk to my parents becoz they were already sleeping. My sister len was not in the house. It's only our youngest who's in there. She's drinking and singing w/ her highschool barkada. I was able to talk to some of them.

My sister, during our conversations asked me when will i go home, I said I don't know yet. No schedule. She said didn't I missed them. And I said of course I do missed them. Then she went silent. Then she said cry first. Lol! My sis, she's crazy. I maybe easily touched but in terms of this, I don't cry. I even hate when Dad uses deep Tagalog words when he's texting/talking to me. Nyeeee! He's so serious! I was complaining about it and he was just laughing at me. I missed them and I really wished they were w/ me but then I don't like so much drama. I am enjoying my life right now. It caters to my independency. It makes me more mature and responsible. It makes me learn more about life, about the world.

In The Fairyland On|1:00:00 PM| 2 comments

Friday, May 06, 2005

*"Barrio Fiesta"*

It's our Barrio Fiesta today. I haven't missed one but then there's always a first time. And now is it. Whoa! I'm starting to missed all traditional family occassions. Usually before the main day, the whole family was very busy for the preparation. And this was the time I ran for errands. My sister will mandate me what to do. Why? becoz she's more knowledgable in the kitchen than me. I hate that but at the same time enjoyed it. My Dad said they're preparing relyenong bangus. Gosh! I can't remember the last time I ate that dish. When I heard it, I wanna go home at that moment. Oh, I have to nail in my mind that I'll ask them to prepare relyeno when I come home.

It's also expected everytime like this to have a lot of visitors. Wow! There never come a time we ran out of visitors. It's the reason I hate doin' the dishes at this time. It felt endless. But having many visitors meant we have many friends. Specially, my Dad. Oh! We were counting who had the most visitors. I won't won. Coz all my friends were in the city, yes we are living in the city but I meant Manila. I studied in Manila and I worked far from our home not w/in the town. But when I do have visitors, my family was the one who's always checking if they're okay. That's why my friends like to come back to our house, they were well estimated not to mention the delicious food we prepared for them. I remember my friend even requested steamed fish.

In the afternoon, when there's few visitors, my cousins, nieces and nephews gather together and videoke. We always had a good time everytime we do that. Singing and dancing. We were all crazy. Haay!!! Memories flashes back. That's all I can do now... thinking bout the old days.

Later, I'll call them. Almost everyday I called them. And I always try to talk to my favorite nephew Ryan but he always had tantrums when I called. I missed my baby sooo much. I missed him call me "Tita Lek".

In The Fairyland On|7:02:00 PM| 3 comments

Thursday, May 05, 2005

*Holiday!!!*

It's Coronation day today according to the calendar. Holiday but I'll work for half a day then i'll bring some home. Yesterday's my cousin's birthday. He's so kulit all the time. I accidentally clicked her fiancee profile and I saw the sample bouquet for their wedding. Wow, it's beautiful! Rose colored navy blue combined w/ white rose. It looked good in the picture. Nice motiff for the wedding. I'm so excited for their forthcoming wedding. Hope I could really attend. This early i'm planning what to do on my christmas vacation so that I could really attend their wedding. Hope my plan will materialize (crossed my fingers).

In The Fairyland On|9:51:00 AM| 0 comments

Sunday, May 01, 2005

*My Dad went to Subic!!!*

I texted my Dad the other day and learned that he's in Subic. I was "Whaaat?" I suddenly missed the place. I've been there, actually live there, for almost two months. The place is more laidback than Manila. And of course, more safe. I've been dreading to comeback to that place to visit my friends and acquaintances there but I don't have the time. I asked my Dad to visit our office there and say hi for me.

Another thing, when my father's out of town, he always buy something for all of us. Be it food, t-shirts bracelets or necklaces. And i missed that. And also when he's out of town, i always asked him to tag me along but then if i asked him it will not pursue. I don't know, i'm a jinx when it comes to my Dad's goin' out of town. That's why i've gone tired of asking him to tag me along.

Oh, and finally! my Dad's admitted that i'm cute and pretty. Haha!!! He's greeting in his emails was like this, "How's my cute/pretty daughter?" My! I was laughing inside myself when I read it. You know, back home, whenever I'm doing my make-up, my Mom's looking at me and can't helped but say, "T, tsk, tsk, tsk... ganda talaga ng anak ko... (My daughter's really pretty!) Oh don't tell me, all mother's like that. She's not like that to all of us. With my father, I had to asked him and he will turned away but smiling. But I never heard him say I'm cute or what. Oh, enough! It's just that I'm missing them. I missed Sunday nights when we were all in the house watching the television.

Speaking of t.v., I finally watched NBA yesterday. Seattle Sonics versus Sacramento Kings. Come to think of it, I haven't watched basketball for almost 10 months. My team was Bulls during Michael Jordan days. Now, nothing in particular... not that updated anymore.

In The Fairyland On|7:59:00 PM| 0 comments