This is My Journey...

Thursday, June 29, 2006

*taking too much pride of myself*

i am sometimes guilty of that... specially when somebody's questioning my capability. i just don't like to be stomped on by a prententious bastard.

If you can prove to me you know what you are talking and not just pretending a know-it-all man, you have my respect. Otherwise, get real!!!

In The Fairyland On|5:46:00 PM| 0 comments

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

*Ranting*

Since last week, i think the lack of sleep is taking effect on me. It's evident on how big my eyebags are. I sometimes didn't made it to bed. One time, I fell asleep on a sitting position. I hardly see Ryan. It's been 2 consecutive weeks that I have no rest day. Some friends say I should find another job.

Honestly, right now, I'm starting to enjoy my new job. It's like a family to me now. I thought i will feel left out since they all came from one company except me but really, I don't feel like i don't belong there. Even if most of them were far older than me. I will surely be sad if I will leave the company. But it won't gonna happen for now.

I apologized to my friends if I can't watch "Superman" with you. It was already set up since January. Me, Ryan and his siblings are going to watch it. I know you understand.

In The Fairyland On|9:01:00 PM| 0 comments

Thursday, June 15, 2006

*Being Twenty-Something*

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you
stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will
be in a year or two, but then get scared because you
barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so
close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have
ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are
some of the most important ones. What you don't
recognize is that they are realizing that too, and
aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that
they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to
what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to
have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more than
usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly
adding things to your list of what is acceptable and
what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the
next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your
life. You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on
to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the
past is
drifting further and further away, and there is
nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed
and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough
that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure
out why you are doing this because you know that you
aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook
ups start to look cheap.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look
pathetic. You go through the same emotions and
questions over and over, and talk with your friends
about the same topics because you cannot seem to
make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a
life for yourself... and while winning the race would
be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this
relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times,
trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing
out.

In The Fairyland On|9:49:00 PM| 0 comments